Just let me get my life back on track – ignore that just let me get my life back to an acceptable standard.
It’s been what, 4 days since I’ve spiralled again. I don’t even know if I want to call it that, spiralling is such a negative way of putting it, it makes me sound like an addict. Actually that may not be too far off from what the situation is. I’ve stepped back, not spiralled, and I think its not the worst time. This is definitely different because well- at least Im eating now.
I feel so helpless and just so tired when I realise that this thing which takes so much effort from me is normal to others. Im not at a standard of healthy, and I honestly hate it.
I’ve got so much to do, and so many things that I could accomplish because I am smart, and I am driven sometimes. Just make decions that benefit you, it’s not that hard, you just stop yourself and then you hate yourself after for no reason. Its not the first time you know, it definateky wont be the last but you are getting better somehow. This is not going to last forever, this phase is a block that tuou need to overcome and need to pass because once you do things will get so easy and so much more enjoyable for you. Ignore those who tell you that a life like this is not fun, and do not listen to the one who tells you that what yiu are doing is trying too hard, becuae if you are not trying too hard, then who will?
Pick yourself up again please, you’ve fallen for longer than I would like, do not make this a thing. Stop it right now, you do not have time for any more of your bad decisions that you KNOW are bad, so stop.
Moonchild Thoughts 